This series is one that hits home for me. I suffer from depression and anxiety. People without a mental illness truly dont understand the day to day hardships you face. I wanted to capture how it feels for me. These "demons" that take control. The black water represents the empty abyss that's in your head. Its like you can be floating on top of the water but some days you sink down, further, further and further down, gasping for air...for someone, something to help you, until you come back up eventually. The flowers represent the the beauty of the world you take in around you. I've had depression since I was in 5th grade and I feel like the older I get, the more in touch with reality I am as I see the world in a different way than others. The small bit of light represents literally the small light you have to hold on to. To not let the abyss swallow you whole. That there is good in the world and things worth living for. Whether it be seeing my pets, watching a musical with my best friend, eating delicious food, etc. It is a very tough subject for me. Over the years I have bottled up my emotions, lost friends and can't even talk to my family about my illnesses. Photography is that small light in my life and a way to release the stress of everything. I thought of this concept about a year ago but I knew my canon rebel xti wouldn't truly capture the detail I wanted. I decided once I got a new camera, this will be my first series I create with it. December I was lucky enough to finally purchase a 5d mark iii. Now I just had to wait until warm weather. These shots were taken in my backyard, in a 8ft long kids pool, a black bath bomb, 1 strobe, me on a ladder as well as shooting the flowers separately and photoshopping them in.
"My depression is the most faithful mistress I have known—no wonder, then, that I return the love.” —Søren Kierkegaard
“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” - Laurell K. Hamilton
"I want to be happy but something inside me screams that I do not deserve it." Unknown
“One swallow does not make a summer, neither does one fine day; similarly one day or brief time of happiness does not make a person entirely happy.” ― Aristotle
"If we had not been wounded, if we had not been injured, then we will not produce the pearl." — Stephan Hoeller
"It is that absence of being able to envisage that you will ever be cheerful again. The absence of hope." - J.K Rowling
"Depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end.” - Elizabeth Wurtzel
"If you’re going through Hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill
"I woke up into a nightmare." - Ned Vizzini
"I actually put my hands up to my face, one next to each eye, like blinders on a horse."
- Regina Brett
- Regina Brett
"My depression is the most faithful mistress I have known—no wonder, then, that I return the love.” —Søren Kierkegaard
"At times, I feel overwhelmed and my depression leads me into darkness" - Dorothy Hamill